Madhushala (मधुशाला)

Alfazon mei nahi itna dum
Ki bayaan kar payein kitna tumhe chahte hain hum

Jaise Meghon kay baraste paani
Ne sirf dharti ki raah jaani

Aur meelon ka faasla chal har sagar ki lehar
Chume bas samudra tat kay paer

Yaaraa-e-ulfat bas tu mehsoos kar
Saaki tere nashe mein  madhushala say guzre meri har dagar

अल्फाजों में नहीं इतना दम

की बयाँ कर पाएं  कितना तुम्हे चाहते हैं हम 

जैसे मेघों के बरसते पानी 

ने सिर्फ धरती की राह जानी 

और मीलों का फासला चल हर सागर की लहर 

चूमे बस समुद्र तट के पैर 

यारा-ऐ-उल्फत बस तू महसूस कर 

साकी तेरे नशे में मधुशाला से गुज़रे मेरी हर डगर 

Har Lamha (हर लम्हा)

Baatein hain Hazaar
badte kadam ruk jayein har baar

Ghul rahi hai saason mein saansein
phir bhi hamare darmiyaan kaynaaton kay faasle

Nam aakhein karein bayaan is dil ki daastan
dhundein teri aakhon mein yeh apna jahaan

Tujhe shayad lage har pal ek bhula sa sapna
jee raha main tere pyaar ki haqeeqat mein har lamha

Teri khushboo say mehak rahi fiza
tu mujhme shashvtataa tak hai basi - meri hai yahi saza

बातें हैं हज़ार
बड़ते कदम रुक जायें हर बार

घुल रही है साँसों में सांसें
फिर भी हमारे दरमियान काय्नातों के फासले

नम आखें करें बयान इस दिल की दास्ताँ
ढूँढें तेरी आखों में यह अपना जहाँ

तुझे शायाद लगे हर पल एक भुला सा सपना
जी रहा मैं तेरे प्यार की हकीकत में हर लम्हा

तेरी खुशबु से महक रही फिज़ा
तू मुझमे शाश्वतता तक है बसी - मेरी है यही सज़ा

Ibtisaam dekhe Khaalq (The World sees a Smile)

Mar bhi jaon aaj agar
aab-e-chasm na bahana

Aagaaz-e-ulfat ne hi mujhe tha mara
teri hi aas mein parastaar jee raha

Ek bhooli si hikaayat ban gaya 
khalvat mein sabke kirdar raha nibha

Mar mar ke jeene ki yaaraa nahi mujh mein
le rahi nafs udhaar ki kuch nafasein 

Sooz-e-nihaan na aaye kabhi nazar
vaada kiya hai tujhse, aatish - e - dozakh mein bhi ibtisaam dekhe khaalq

Meanings
(aab-e-chasm - tears);  (aagaaz-e-ulfat - begining of love); (parastaar - lover/devotee); (hikaayat - story); (khalvat - solitude); (yaaraa - strength);  (nafasein - breaths); (nafs - soul);(sooz-e-nihaan - inner sorrow); (aatish-e-dozakh - Fires of hell); (ibtisaam - smile); (kaalq - world)

A day in the Life of a Clown

The children were laughing and giggling and the clown with his colourful attire, red nose, white cheeks and long versicoloured locks sneaking out of his cap, was up to his antics. All he was seeing was the children and all he could hear was their laughter. The children were his inspiration. Making them laugh brought happiness to him. More than the children needing him, he needed them.

After the party was over Jake went back home and sat down in front of the mirror to take off his make up. The smile on his face replaced by gloominess. A sudden rush of emotions flooded him and he started crying for no perceivable reason. The tears rolling down his cheeks; his face contorted. The makeup on his face was smudged by his hands which, as if having a life of their own, had gone to wipe the tears away. A guttural and almost broken cry escaping his throat. The irony of a clown crying - the saddest oxymoron.

Jake barely made it to the table next to his bed. He took the anti-depressant pills. His head was spinning and he was reaching for the Glock he kept in the dresser. Then he saw the photograph on the top of the dresser - the smiling face of Betty and Ashley. It had been over five years since they were killed during a break-in at the Convenience Store where Betty worked. Jake could never forget that evening. It was Ashley's eighth birthday and he had a surprise planned for her back home with all the clowns from his troupe putting on a show for her. Jake and Ashley were sitting in the car waiting to pick up Betty; Ashley got out of the car and sauntered into the store to get her mother out quickly. Jake started to put on his clown nose to surprise Ashley and while he was putting it on, unnoticed by him two drunk teenagers got into the store. They panicked while taking the money and shot both Betty and Ashley. On hearing the shots Jake ran into the store - but by the time help arrived it was too late.

In a few minutes his head stopped spinning, his breathing was relaxed and his heart was not racing any more  He fell off to sleep on the floor next to the dresser with the Glock in his hand and his smudged make up still on.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. The alarm went off at 7 am in the morning. Jake woke up with a startle and rushed to get ready. He had a show at 10 am and he had just an hour to beat the traffic.

When

When you can't tell right from wrong
and your lips quiver whilst humming your favourite song

When darkness seems to be spanning the eternity

and the only certainity is the absolute uncertainity

When the courage to even make an attempt does not stir

and life just passes by as a blur

When you walk up to the edge of the cliff - jump to die

and spread your wings to try and fly

When a lifetime of memories runs in fast forward

and you fail to fly to land with a thud

Infinite Realities

All of us live in a world of our own and tend to see what we want to see. My absolute reality is very different from yours and from everyone else. No two people see the same universe.

A majority of us spend our whole lives within a limited radius, be it mental, social or geographical - that is our whole universe and thus reality becomes subjective to the definition and limitations of the person experiencing it.

In a given situation, we end up defining our realities in black and white, not understanding that there are so many shades of grey too - even more so not comprehending that black and white is nothing but a function of all colours coming together - in one case the colours are being absorbed and in the other they are being reflected. The colour; the reality we are subconsciously always seeking is there - we just need to look for it.

But as a whole there does exist a cosmic consciousness and if we tap into it - moving away from the black and white paradigm; there is a plethora of colours; many of which we haven't ever seen before and we vivify painting of infinite realities on the universe's canvas.

Crematorial Silence

And I sit alone on the top of my pyre
an eerie quietness, doing my penance
There is nothing louder than the crematorial silence 
None can see me, and the fire is lit

They all come, some weep, some happy
the smell of burning flesh, body turning to ashes
a cold chill, they have come to take me
I still love, I still feel, ergo I don't want to go

Last breath is what I had promised, but still not healed
I look at myself and see just a soul
dive deep inside to see that all I love is within
drifting away to become one with the ethereal reality