Saturday, May 18, 2013

When

When you can't tell right from wrong
and your lips quiver whilst humming your favourite song

When darkness seems to be spanning the eternity
and the only certainity is the absolute uncertainity

When the courage to even make an attempt does not stir
and life just passes by as a blur

When you walk up to the edge of the cliff - jump to die
and spread your wings to try and fly

When a lifetime of memories runs in fast forward
and you fail to fly to land with a thud

Friday, May 17, 2013

Infinite Realities

All of us live in a world of our own and tend to see what we want to see. My absolute reality is very different from yours and from everyone else. No two people see the same universe.

A majority of us spend our whole lives within a limited radius, be it mental, social or geographical - that is our whole universe and thus reality becomes subjective to the definition and limitations of the person experiencing it.

In a given situation, we end up defining our realities in black and white, not understanding that there are so many shades of grey too - even more so not comprehending that black and white is nothing but a function of all colours coming together - in one case the colours are being absorbed and in the other they are being reflected. The colour; the reality we are subconsciously always seeking is there - we just need to look for it.

But as a whole there does exist a cosmic consciousness and if we tap into it - moving away from the black and white paradigm; there is a plethora of colours; many of which we haven't ever seen before and we vivify painting of infinite realities on the universe's canvas.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Crematorial Silence

And I sit alone on the top of my pyre
an eerie quietness, doing my penance
There is nothing louder than the crematorial silence 
None can see me, and the fire is lit

They all come, some weep, some happy

the smell of burning flesh, body turning to ashes
a cold chill, they have come to take me
I still love, I still feel, ergo I don't want to go

Last breath is what I had promised, but still not healed

I look at myself and see just a soul
dive deep inside to see that all I love is within
drifting away to become one with the ethereal reality

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Quenched Thirst

Now that all is said and done
and there is nothing more to come
When the truth is known
the storm wreaks havoc and the candle's blown
Pitch darkness, nothings whole
but there's light in the soul

Walking alone on the winding trail
hands are cold, face is pale
Glance aside to give a smile
there's no one around for at least a mile
Tears down the cheek roll
there's a restlessness in the soul

Time is the best healer they said
ask the man who's lost his leg
Powerless in front of our destiny
but as happy as a lark - for the world to see
Insides burning like hot coal
there's still hope in the soul

What is lost shall be found
the feeling is strong and profound
Wait for a few lifetimes
when the sun in the new era shines
Bodies changed universes traversed
no more unrequited - the soul has quenched its thirst

The Greatest Evil

The greatest good is the greatest evil. It is the basic law of physics - every thing existing has an opposite to it; the proverbial other side of the coin.

The greatest good is love for it brings out the best in us - as god's intended creation; but when love goes wrong it has the ability to bring out the worst in us - the devil's virus in the code.

If God is the creator of everything then the Devil is nothing but God's alter ego.

The whole universe is governed by love. Now this love can be what a man feels for a woman or a man for man or a woman for a woman. It is what parents feel for a child and vice-versa. It is an emotion that can be felt for inanimate objects and also for non tangible things.

Love is the basal denominator for all human feelings. All other emotions and feelings are but an extension or variant of love with varying degrees. Someone has said that hate too is misdirected love.

There is no exact definition for love and no two people experiencing the emotion feel exactly the same. It is different for everyone but still the same. The commonality is that when we love someone or something - we want it; the intensity may differ.

Love is so strange an emotion that sometimes it becomes the reason to live life, sometimes to leave life and at times to take a life.

When love is misdirected, when it is felt too strongly or felt less than expected it has a tendency to turn evil. When one feels and the other doesn't; when blind Love is felt for power, for money, for fame it turns evil. When love starts smothering the partner - it turns evil. And Love gone overboard has the power to start driving you to do things which are not right. 

The emotion is so strong that it can turn a Priest into a murderer, a Social worker into a corrupt politician, a gifted doctor into a money making machine, a loving person into a person filled with hate - a person full of life into a suicidal person.

The greatest good turns evil when we turn narcissists - when we start loving ourselves more than anything else and want a person in our life because it makes us happy, notwithstanding what the person feels or what is right; when we want power, position, fame, money et al at any cost because it makes us satiated.

Love for power, position, fame, money etc needs to be toned down to levels where we control the outcome instead of the deep seeded emotion driving us.

Love is not for us to take but for us to give. 

If we expect and demand reciprocation, that is if we try to take love it shall always end up hurting us - pushing us towards evil. True love is all about giving and doing what is right for the person we love, irrespective of what we want. True love is in walking away if need be.

All said and done, none of us are saints and even God has an alter ego.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Tomorrow

Tonight I'll suckle
frightened of death
afraid of the darkness
secure near the breast

Tonight I am afraid
for I saw death
a man in a bloody pool
returning I was from school

Tonight I'll caress
death is such a mess
she gives me the pleasure
my youth fails to measure

Tonight I am free
death can't catch me
wings to fly around
in college fun and frolic abound

Tonight I am high
death tastes so sweet
drugs in my veins
ruling my brain

Tonight I smile
dead are the drugs
that had ruled my brain
and had captured my veins

Tonight I am alone
even death doesn't want me
deserted by friends
cruelty the world lends

Tonight I'll celebrate
the roads are when dead
nobody to care
none to interfere

Tonight I'll dance
to the music of death
when the world is sleeping
some beds maybe creaking

Tonight I'll weep
in the shadows of death
when the innocent sleeps
and awake are the creeps

Tonight I am locked up
away from death
severe mental pain
I am insane

Tonight I am happy
death shall kiss me
in this world so sane
only the insane are sane

Tonight I die
death and I are one
to end my beginning
to begin for me a new end

Tomorrow morning
I'll suckle again

Friday, May 3, 2013

Soliloquy


Soliloquy
the wind on my face
Sitting on the quay
the flying birds embrace

Ort
the famished can eat a rind or a peel
Leftovers thrown, given no thought
morsels together, but make a meal

Paradox
in the distant realm there is but one dimension
Let out the soul - break open the locks
believe and split wide open the horizon

Zumba
heaven, hell and earth
Inhibitions thrown away far
cosmos giving birth

Paradigm
we are at the end of the reel
The mind shall some day find
that the heart has started to feel

Break Free and Smile

And for he wanted to break free and smile - he broke free and smiled.

If you really want something in life you need to work towards it - you need to believe in yourself. However difficult the task, however high the mountain, if you don't take the first step you would never reach the pinnacle.

Most of the limitations towards achieving what we want to, lie within us - these are then projected outwards in the physical realm for us to experience. The power of your belief, of mind over matter, is phenomenal. Remember one thing - you may not see the silver lining in all the clouds but then no cloud stays forever. There is a way in between the darkest of clouds; change your vantage point and you'd see the blue azure sky.

There might be times when you feel there is nothing more you can do; that you are trapped in complete darkness. Complete darkness is a myth, because if we open the right doors we would always let light through. Even the black hole sucks everything in, including light - then wouldn't if be brighter than the brightest sun within.

I know, you have taken the step, you are moving forward and then you find yourself stuck. It is important to take a step back. In fact it takes real courage and strength to take a step backward. Time to time it is imperative in life to step out and look at it as an outsider. You may or may not figure out the big picture, but you'd know where you stand and where to move on to.

Once we identify our mental limitations and work on them, there is no stopping us.

It's time to break free and smile.

Interview with the Soul

Mind
Never give up on the things that make you smile. But then, you do recollect that moment when you decided to give up on Mehr, so that she could continue to smile. 
Soul
It was painful - had to be - I was literally smothering her with love and then realisation dawned on me. I truly love and that's why I had to let her be - even if it is without me. It's about what she wants, not what I want - her happiness is what means the world to me.
Mind
You have met so many other people in your life - before and after Mehr. You have loved them too. How could you love again? But that you loved again - wasn't it really enough to get over her and to move on.
Soul
Life is not a multiple choice answer with only one option correct. 
Once you love someone your capacity to fall in love does not stop, because if it does, the first person you'd stop loving would be the one you are in love with. And when your capacity to fall in love does not stop - you may end up with similar feelings for someone else too. Life gets complicated, Shit happens, it is against everything we have been made to believe. You are mine and only mine is the biggest fallacy. Cut out my heart and mummify it - then I am only yours. As long as my heart beats, it feels, it loves you; but it may love others too - degrees may vary.
It wasn't the same ever again; Mehr had touched my soul - every one else could only get to my heart.
Mind
In reality you never did give up though - did you? To the world you function normally; you are happy and contended. When you look into your own eyes the fa├žade falls down, you break down. Was it all really worth it - the crap of falling in love, of having your soul tinkered with. You are so consumed with that person that you are losing yourself - your sanity.  
Soul
I love, not to be loved back, I love because I found my soul-mate - I love because that's the only thing I know how to do right. I let Mehr believe that I am perfect without her - with whatever she decides regarding the relationship - because I want her to be smiling always. If I don't complete her the way she completes me then I have no choice but to step back.
Mind
You knew things would never workout - you die hard romantic fool. You loved her with complete abandon. You opened yourself up completely. But then you can't love without being completely vulnerable. And now, in this moment, when you are all alone in the midst of celebrations; when your heart physically pains at the loss, when you are about to breath your last - you still aren't willing to let go.
Soul
The moments, ever so brief - they will see me through. 
The pain, it's a constant reminder that I still feel. And I shall breath my last loving her. And if my soul-mate felt for me even for an iota of a second, felt complete with me, even if in a dream - I am happy.
 

Myriad Ramblings

© 2013; Aakaash Sehgal:

(Dashboard)