Friday, May 3, 2013

Interview with the Soul

Mind
Never give up on the things that make you smile. But then, you do recollect that moment when you decided to give up on Mehr, so that she could continue to smile. 
Soul
It was painful - had to be - I was literally smothering her with love and then realisation dawned on me. I truly love and that's why I had to let her be - even if it is without me. It's about what she wants, not what I want - her happiness is what means the world to me.
Mind
You have met so many other people in your life - before and after Mehr. You have loved them too. How could you love again? But that you loved again - wasn't it really enough to get over her and to move on.
Soul
Life is not a multiple choice answer with only one option correct. 
Once you love someone your capacity to fall in love does not stop, because if it does, the first person you'd stop loving would be the one you are in love with. And when your capacity to fall in love does not stop - you may end up with similar feelings for someone else too. Life gets complicated, Shit happens, it is against everything we have been made to believe. You are mine and only mine is the biggest fallacy. Cut out my heart and mummify it - then I am only yours. As long as my heart beats, it feels, it loves you; but it may love others too - degrees may vary.
It wasn't the same ever again; Mehr had touched my soul - every one else could only get to my heart.
Mind
In reality you never did give up though - did you? To the world you function normally; you are happy and contended. When you look into your own eyes the fa├žade falls down, you break down. Was it all really worth it - the crap of falling in love, of having your soul tinkered with. You are so consumed with that person that you are losing yourself - your sanity.  
Soul
I love, not to be loved back, I love because I found my soul-mate - I love because that's the only thing I know how to do right. I let Mehr believe that I am perfect without her - with whatever she decides regarding the relationship - because I want her to be smiling always. If I don't complete her the way she completes me then I have no choice but to step back.
Mind
You knew things would never workout - you die hard romantic fool. You loved her with complete abandon. You opened yourself up completely. But then you can't love without being completely vulnerable. And now, in this moment, when you are all alone in the midst of celebrations; when your heart physically pains at the loss, when you are about to breath your last - you still aren't willing to let go.
Soul
The moments, ever so brief - they will see me through. 
The pain, it's a constant reminder that I still feel. And I shall breath my last loving her. And if my soul-mate felt for me even for an iota of a second, felt complete with me, even if in a dream - I am happy.

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