Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Space in the Heart

Three days could bring forth such passion and intensity - it was unbelievable. It was his soul she had touched.

And he turned away, for he just didn't see another way. He wasn't sure of what way he would take, how he would stop loving. An emotional mess, insanely in love.

She turned away too, never once trying to stop him, to ask him how broken he was - not because she didn't feel for him, but because she felt for him so much, that she knew how broken Sid was. Neha knew that Sid would never stop loving her the way he did; but she had to get over him, she had to let go - as much as she felt for him she knew deep within her heart that she had been carried away - her hormones had her overpowered. That she loved him was just for a brief iota of a second and everything after that an illusion amplified manifold. He was just a very good friend and the situation had got the better of her.

The only way for Sid to walk away and come out of the mayhem was for her to completely walk away from his life - for him to think that she did not care, for Sid to wait for that shoulder to be offered for eternity - for him to break down so much that he became compelled to find another shoulder.

Sid knew that Neha truly cared for him but as she didn't want the same thing out of the relationship as him, as she never felt the intensity he did, he had no choice but to push her away - he didn't have it in him to walk away; so he kept pushing her away. Things got ugly, but he succeeded - Sid couldn't bear to have her, but not have her.

Sid also understood that no matter how much he loved Neha, he would never be able to give her the life she deserved; for he came with his own share of responsibilities which he had no right to neglect. There was no way that he could give up on Vibhuti, his wife of 18 years and Kavya, his 15 year old daughter. Over the years, as in most of the marriages, the romance had faded and responsibilities had taken on a higher priority, petty squabbles had increased and love seemed like a long lost emotion.

Its been 7 years from the day he walked away. Today, Neha is heading the Marketing for Ogilvy in Mumbai and has been happily married to Aniket for 4 years. Sid has been reduced to the mere memory of a fling gone ugly. Ever so often though, when she lovingly sees her husband, Neha can't help but see the fleeting image of Sid's smiling face. She is expecting a baby boy in 2 months and has already thought of a name - Siddharth.

Sid and Vibhuti are still married and settled in Shimla. Kavya is leaving next month to the University of Pennsylvania to pursue majors in Psychology. Sid has stopped smiling as much - his happy go lucky mask cast aside. He is completely focused on the happiness of his family and has never been found wanting in his role as a Husband or a Father; but there is a space in his heart - never to be filled; and in that space he shall always be waiting for Neha.

Continued at Life has come a full Circle

1 comment :

  1. No, it does not happen like that. Such spaces are very temporary and get filled by flux/lapse of time provided the life later is contented as is in this case. If Sid is happy , responsible and proud father/husband there is NO way that such a spce can exist...NO WAY what so ever



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